I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
