You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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