Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm jealous of your bromance
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
wow bdsm is so cute
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