So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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