Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
