Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
