so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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