you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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