ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
