He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Randomize
