She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i've created a new STD.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
