if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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