it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
