I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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