I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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