oh god the rape fog is back!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
