I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she smelled like a LAN party
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
