If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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