I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
