Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
