some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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