he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize