i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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