he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
