Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
