He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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