I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
