You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
