how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Is it because I queefed?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
