I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
