That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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