The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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