And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
