At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
