I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
