If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
