whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
