He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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