I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
