You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
