What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
