You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
