my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
God, I missed his penis.
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