I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
