So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
