you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
A bitchslap is in order.
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