any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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