I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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