Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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