There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
