Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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