batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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