So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize