even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
