Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
