I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
As shirtless as possible
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
