Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
