i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
