he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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