Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
