The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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