Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
