and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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