Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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